Marriage Guidelines for St. Thomas à Becket Parish
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding celebration, the beginning of a lifetime union of love and life. Here are some FAQs about preparing for marriage at our parish.
Who may be married here? Parishioners and others with permission of the parish where they reside.
How far in advance should I prepare? At least six months, preferably one year. Do not book your reception hall until you have met with a priest and confirmed the date and time of your wedding.
The marriage preparation process: Once the date for the wedding has been set with one of our priests, the actual marriage preparation begins. There are three stages:
- 1) Preliminary interviews and paperwork (current baptismal certificates will be required no more than six months before the wedding date).
- 2) Enrolling in the marriage preparation program: :“FROM THIS DAY FORWARD". We suggest you take this program sooner rather than later.
- 3) Liturgical preparation for your marriage celebration; music, scripture readings, prayers and vows (a month or two before the wedding). No flower petals, rice or confetti should be thrown in the church or anywhere on the church grounds. As the solemn celebration of your marriage vows is taking place in the sanctuary of a church, only sacred music is permitted. We will assist you with this.
Cost: $500.00. Musicians’ fees are separate and payable directly to them.
If one of our priests has agreed to celebrate your wedding in another church, an administrative fee of $250 is payable to St. Thomas à Becket.
Contact: Parish secretary: (514) 626-4111.
“How to build a strong and healthy marriage that will last a lifetime!”
Marriages and families are the cornerstone of our society. Strong and loving marriages lead to a better life for the couple, their family and those around them. Marriage is a very special relationship, whereby two people, who were at one time strangers to each other, grow into a relationship of ever increasing love, appreciation, interdependence and understanding of one another.
From so many sources, marriages are under increasing pressures in our society. It is vital that couples realize the danger signs, and get the tools that they need in order to protect and nurture their relationships.
Over a period of 7 evenings spent together, couples talk about important issues that can get “swept under the carpet” in the rush of daily life. Participants discover new things about themselves, and their life as a couple. This very practical course provides couples with the tools that they need to take a good marriage, or a struggling marriage, onto a whole new level!
The course is given in a relaxed, warm and private setting.The privacy of the couple is always respected, and there are absolutely no group discussions.
Contact Nathalie or John Bondyra (514-695-7896) for more information.
Here are examples of what past participants of “The Marriage Course” have said:
“It is like a date night. You are made to feel very special. You have a complete sense of privacy, which is important.” “The Marriage Course provides such a great environment to discuss things in a civilized way. We could actually start to understand each other’s point of view.”
“It was actually fun doing “The Marriage Course”!”
“It is such a fantastic format. It gave us the platform to build and strengthen our marriage. We didn’t feel like we were doing a course – it just felt like we were having a great evening together.”
“We listened to enthralling talks, going over subjects that we had never really examined closely.” “We never stopped loving each other, but we seemed unable to solve some fundamental issues. “The Marriage Course” helped us overcome these obstacles.”
Over five relaxing evenings spent together, you will learn important skills, tools and ideas that will enable you to make your relationship/future marriage work. Each session includes an interesting and practical talk, followed by the opportunity to privately discuss the evening’s topic with your partner. There are no group discussions and you will never be asked to share anything about your personal life and relationship with anyone, other than your partner.
If you're like most people, you prepare and plan for many things in life: education, career, retirement and holidays. And most couples spend 250 hours or more, planning their wedding, but very little time, if any, planning for married life. There are many things you can do to begin building a lifelong, happy marriage.
Investing in your relationship before you get married,
will reap rewards for the many years to come.
During the five sessions of the course, you will discover practical tools to help you build the foundations for a lasting marriage. You will look at:
- The importance of commitment
- How to recognize and appreciate your differences
- The art of communication
- How to effectively resolve conflict
- The importance of spending time together and nurturing your friendship
- How to make each other feel loved
- Developing a good sexual relationship
- The importance of talking about your goals, values and dreams
Here are examples of what past participants of “The Marriage Preparation Course” have said:
“The Marriage Preparation Course is an amazing, romantic and fun way to create time for us, as a couple, amidst all the chaos of wedding planning. It helped us to look ahead to life after the day itself”.
“We learned how to communicate effectively with each other and we also learned how to truly listen to one another”.
"I think the most beneficial section of The Marriage Preparation Course for us, was learning about commitment and about resolving conflict”.
“Our blue workbook often comes out when we need to discuss challenging issues. It is a reminder of the communication and listening skills we learned on the course”.
“In particular, we loved taking those evenings to spend with each other every week, as we learned how to resolve conflict constructively and in a non-confrontational way!”
“It gave us an opportunity to discuss issues we would have avoided. This course allows couples to really test their relationship in terms of suitability and commitment before they marry. We sometimes wonder how we could have done it without the course!”
“Others recommended “The Marriage Preparation Course” to us and how beneficial they found it; despite feeling they knew each other very well. We were not disappointed!”
“The course showed us how easily it was to initiate conversation, and discuss topics that may have been hard to tackle”.
“We realized that even though we were very much in love and fully committed to each other, aspects of our relationship still required more work. “The Marriage Preparation Course” offered us an opportunity to get even closer”.
“What an incredible investment for our marriage!”